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_cbs-fire-country-reopens-a-heart-wrenching-wound.jpg "Experience the poignant \")
⏲ 0:56 👁 34.1M
_92.jpg "A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”")
⏲ 4:49 👁 26.5M
_who-will-stay-and-who-will-go-liverpool-player-contract-situation-ahead-of-the-summer-transfer-window.jpg "There’s no doubt set to be change at Liverpool this summer with the ending of Jurgen Klopp’s historical reign at the club. It will also be a big change for the squad members as we’ll see which players will buy in to the new era at Anfield.")
⏲ 3:0 👁 23.2M
_inside-anushka-sharma39s-lavish-birthday-dinner-celebration-with-virat-kohli-glenn-maxwell-amp-others.jpg "Anushka Sharma celebrated her 36th birthday on May 1, 2024 in the presence of family and friends, among whom were Australian cricketer Glenn Maxwell and his wife, Vini Raman, as well as Faf Du Plessis. The actress delighted her fans by sharing pictures from the celebration on her Instagram stories. Recently, some candid and inside moments from Anushka’s birthday bash surfaced on social media. One particularly heartwarming photo captures Anushka beaming with joy as she poses alongside her husband, Virat Kohli, and their friends.<br/>")
⏲ 1:38 👁 16.6M
_tory-councillor-hails-incredible-victory-as-partys-majority-cut-from-nine-to-single-seat.jpg "A Tory councillor hailed an 'incredible' victory as the party's majority was cut from nine to a single seat.Source: ITV News")
⏲ 0:26 👁 16.5M
_londoners-to-face-disruption-as-further-train-strikes-planned-this-month.jpg "Members of the Aslef union at 16 rail companies will strike on different days after eight participated in a 24-hour strike earlier this month.<br/><br/><br/>The strikes come three months after the London Mayor spent £30 million of public funds to prevent the National Union of Rail, Maritime and Transport Workers, also known as (RMT) from staging a week-long walkout.<br/>")
⏲ 2:0 👁 18.2M
_guardiola-on-foden-and-city39s-academy-developing-stars.jpg "Manchester City boss Pep Guardiola spoke highly of their academy for developing stars such as Phil Foden as they prepare to face Wolves<br/>Etihad training campus, Manchester, UK")
⏲ 1:10 👁 15.6M
_gull-mouth-action-podcast-episode-26-124-crawley-town-march-into-the-play-offs-brighton-prepare-for-villa.jpg "Matt Pole is I'm joined by Brighton & Hove Albion writer Derren Howard, Crawley Town expert Mark Dunford, and Sam Morton, who covers both the Seagulls and the Reds.<br/>Brighton’s winless run continued as they were beaten 3-0 at Bournemouth on Sunday.<br/>We’ll pick over the bones of Albion’s latest defeat, and bring you some excellent news from Crawley Town.<br/>You can read all the stories we are talking about with videos and pictures online at SussexWorld.co.uk/sport, and you check out other great videos on ShotsTV.com and Freeview channel 276")
⏲ 23:11 👁 23.7M
_bollywood-drama-series-heeramandi-season-1-episode-12-in-hindi.jpg "Here's a summary of reviews for the series \")
⏲ 1:39:10 👁 26.5M
_russian-missiles-strike-odesa-again-as-situation-worsens-on-eastern-front.jpg "Kyiv's struggle has been deepening for months as Ukrainian forces keep waiting for vital new military aid.")
⏲ 1:58 👁 21.3M
_ghana39s-asante-king-displays-return-of-looted-treasures.jpg "Ghana's Asante king displays return of looted treasures<br/><br/>Ghana's Asante king displays for the first time dozens of royal artefacts looted during colonial rule, after they were returned by British museums on a long-term loan, as part of his silver jubilee celebrations.<br/><br/>Video by AFP<br/><br/>Subscribe to The Manila Times Channel - https://tmt.ph/YTSubscribe <br/> <br/>Visit our website at https://www.manilatimes.net <br/> <br/>Follow us: <br/>Facebook - https://tmt.ph/facebook <br/>Instagram - https://tmt.ph/instagram <br/>Twitter - https://tmt.ph/twitter <br/>DailyMotion - https://tmt.ph/dailymotion <br/> <br/>Subscribe to our Digital Edition - https://tmt.ph/digital <br/> <br/>Check out our Podcasts: <br/>Spotify - https://tmt.ph/spotify <br/>Apple Podcasts - https://tmt.ph/applepodcasts <br/>Amazon Music - https://tmt.ph/amazonmusic <br/>Deezer: https://tmt.ph/deezer <br/>Tune In: https://tmt.ph/tunein<br/> <br/>#TheManilaTimes<br/>#tmtnews<br/>#ghana<br/>#asanteking<br/>#treasure")
⏲ 1:37 👁 13.8M
_labour-win-northamptonshire-police-and-fire-commissioner-election.jpg "Labour’s Danielle Stone has won the race to be elected as Northamptonshire’s Police and and Fire Commissioner.<br/><br/>")
⏲ 1:52 👁 13.7M
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_cbs-fire-country-reopens-a-heart-wrenching-wound.webp "Experience the poignant \")
_92.webp "A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”")
_who-will-stay-and-who-will-go-liverpool-player-contract-situation-ahead-of-the-summer-transfer-window.webp "There’s no doubt set to be change at Liverpool this summer with the ending of Jurgen Klopp’s historical reign at the club. It will also be a big change for the squad members as we’ll see which players will buy in to the new era at Anfield.")
_inside-anushka-sharma39s-lavish-birthday-dinner-celebration-with-virat-kohli-glenn-maxwell-amp-others.webp "Anushka Sharma celebrated her 36th birthday on May 1, 2024 in the presence of family and friends, among whom were Australian cricketer Glenn Maxwell and his wife, Vini Raman, as well as Faf Du Plessis. The actress delighted her fans by sharing pictures from the celebration on her Instagram stories. Recently, some candid and inside moments from Anushka’s birthday bash surfaced on social media. One particularly heartwarming photo captures Anushka beaming with joy as she poses alongside her husband, Virat Kohli, and their friends.<br/>")
_tory-councillor-hails-incredible-victory-as-partys-majority-cut-from-nine-to-single-seat.webp "A Tory councillor hailed an 'incredible' victory as the party's majority was cut from nine to a single seat.Source: ITV News")
_londoners-to-face-disruption-as-further-train-strikes-planned-this-month.webp "Members of the Aslef union at 16 rail companies will strike on different days after eight participated in a 24-hour strike earlier this month.<br/><br/><br/>The strikes come three months after the London Mayor spent £30 million of public funds to prevent the National Union of Rail, Maritime and Transport Workers, also known as (RMT) from staging a week-long walkout.<br/>")
_guardiola-on-foden-and-city39s-academy-developing-stars.webp "Manchester City boss Pep Guardiola spoke highly of their academy for developing stars such as Phil Foden as they prepare to face Wolves<br/>Etihad training campus, Manchester, UK")
_gull-mouth-action-podcast-episode-26-124-crawley-town-march-into-the-play-offs-brighton-prepare-for-villa.webp "Matt Pole is I'm joined by Brighton & Hove Albion writer Derren Howard, Crawley Town expert Mark Dunford, and Sam Morton, who covers both the Seagulls and the Reds.<br/>Brighton’s winless run continued as they were beaten 3-0 at Bournemouth on Sunday.<br/>We’ll pick over the bones of Albion’s latest defeat, and bring you some excellent news from Crawley Town.<br/>You can read all the stories we are talking about with videos and pictures online at SussexWorld.co.uk/sport, and you check out other great videos on ShotsTV.com and Freeview channel 276")
_bollywood-drama-series-heeramandi-season-1-episode-12-in-hindi.webp "Here's a summary of reviews for the series \")
_russian-missiles-strike-odesa-again-as-situation-worsens-on-eastern-front.webp "Kyiv's struggle has been deepening for months as Ukrainian forces keep waiting for vital new military aid.")
_ghana39s-asante-king-displays-return-of-looted-treasures.webp "Ghana's Asante king displays return of looted treasures<br/><br/>Ghana's Asante king displays for the first time dozens of royal artefacts looted during colonial rule, after they were returned by British museums on a long-term loan, as part of his silver jubilee celebrations.<br/><br/>Video by AFP<br/><br/>Subscribe to The Manila Times Channel - https://tmt.ph/YTSubscribe <br/> <br/>Visit our website at https://www.manilatimes.net <br/> <br/>Follow us: <br/>Facebook - https://tmt.ph/facebook <br/>Instagram - https://tmt.ph/instagram <br/>Twitter - https://tmt.ph/twitter <br/>DailyMotion - https://tmt.ph/dailymotion <br/> <br/>Subscribe to our Digital Edition - https://tmt.ph/digital <br/> <br/>Check out our Podcasts: <br/>Spotify - https://tmt.ph/spotify <br/>Apple Podcasts - https://tmt.ph/applepodcasts <br/>Amazon Music - https://tmt.ph/amazonmusic <br/>Deezer: https://tmt.ph/deezer <br/>Tune In: https://tmt.ph/tunein<br/> <br/>#TheManilaTimes<br/>#tmtnews<br/>#ghana<br/>#asanteking<br/>#treasure")
_labour-win-northamptonshire-police-and-fire-commissioner-election.webp "Labour’s Danielle Stone has won the race to be elected as Northamptonshire’s Police and and Fire Commissioner.<br/><br/>")
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